We Are All Horrible, Horrible Parents

Can someone please tell me when it fell out of fashion to talk kindly to and about people?  To avoid politics and religion in conversation until you really got to know someone?  Or at least until you really wanted to piss someone off?  What happened to judging someone privately, in your own home, with your own friends and family, behind his or her back?  Come on people!  Those were the good old days of being negative, judgy, and superior in private.

Message boards. Social Media. Personal blogs by people with no clue (I'm not ashamed to include myself in this!).  Anonymity, no immediate feedback,and a delete button has made all of us more inclined to be open with our criticisms and judgements and nastiness. Comment sections have given many idiots (and I use that term in the most loving way) the platform to be downright hateful and vulgar. But you knew that already.  I have even found myself being both more bold with my comments and slightly nasty myself on occasion.  Not usually, but it is so easy to do that with just a few keystrokes.

What bothers me most, though, is that it seems Mommy Wars are no longer about working outside the home vs being a stay at home mom.  There are many facets to being a good Mom and it seems, based on message boards and social media,that we are all colossal failures at parenthood.  Someone will shoot you down if you raise your children slightly "outside the norm."  Or if you raise your children totally within "the norm."  Or if your child is named Norm (obviously, you watched too much Cheers! Shame on you!)  

With this in mind, I give you all the ways we are all terrible parents (please realize that this is totally tongue in cheek and that it is not a criticism of anyone or anyone's ideas and beliefs). With all due respect to Jeff Foxworthy, you may be a terrible parent if:

You are a stay at home Mom
You work outside the home
You are a stay at home Dad
You send your kids to public school
You send your kids to a religious school
You homeschool
You unschool
You vaccinate
You don't vaccinate
You are refusing Gardasil
You are all for Gardasil
You raise your children with religion
You raise your children without religion
You co-sleep
You breastfed
You pick-up a crying baby
You let your child sleep in their own bed, always
You bottle fed
You let them "cry it out"
You spank
You reason and use consequence and redirection
You are carnivores
You are vegetarians
You are vegan
You let your kids eat fast food
You let your kids eat non-organic
You are against GMOs 
You don't let your kids have sugar
You let your kids eat whatever amount of sugar they want
You let your kids drink soda
You are a fear mongerer because you believe in (fill in the blank)
You are a sheeple because you believe in (fill in the blank)
You have been to SeaWorld
You are boycotting Seaworld
You are anti-stereotypes of all kinds
You believe some stereotypes are true
You pass judgements on celebrity parents
You think celebrity parents get a bum rap because they are in the spotlight
You believe that Asperger's syndrome and ADHD and food allergies are real
You think none of these exist and some parents just like to label their kids.
You are a "helicopter" parent
You are a "free-range" parent
You medicate your child
You medicate yourself
You like wine to relax
You like an occasional joint
You like meditation or yoga and someone suggests that a joint would be quicker.
You are "entitled"
You are an "elitist"
You are neither
You are against Congress but for the President
You are against the President but are for the Congress
You hate them all.
You love them all (OK! That would never happen!).
You are correct in your decisions.

 Here's what I think. Raise your kid the way you want.  Don't beat up on others.  Be cordial.  Agree to disagree.  Don't go to message boards and attack others just because no one knows who you are.  Most of all, know that your kids will one day blame you for their mistakes no matter what you do.  And then they will get over it and raise kids pretty much the same way you raised them.  You hope.