24 Hours and Counting!

So, last night, I let my 11 year old fall asleep with me because she is very nervous about going to two weeks of sleep away camp today.  She ended up staying the whole night.  This was nice because as a prepubescent, this is the almost the only time she will cuddle with me.  She is better this morning, which is great, because now I'm nervous for both of us.

We leave in two hours to take her and then at 7:30 tomorrow morning, I leave for my own adventure.  I'm so fortunate that I have a great husband and great friends who are helping out, especially with my son who tends to worry about lots of things including my dying.  He will be cuddling tonight.

I'm worried about a few things:

1. Dying.  That would be the first thing. I find the whole surgery/operation room really cool.  It's sudden aneurysm/heart attack/stroke/undiagnosed thingy that I worry about.

2. My kids.  I know that they are in good care but, my anxiety about their anxiety is hard.  Again, my son is happy to be hanging out with his best buds this week and I know he is well cared for.  I just worry about his little sensitive self.

3. Catheters and removal there of.  Enough said.

4. Not having shaved in the last few days.  You see, you are not allowed to shave within 48 hours of surgery.  I missed the window yesterday and will now go into surgery with not only hairy legs and armpits but, a five o'clock shadow.  Maybe more like a 2 PM shadow.  Hard to tell at this point.  

5. I will no doubt be hungry at about 6AM with only toothpaste to sooth my rumbling belly.  I hope there are yummy apple juice cups and Lorna Dune cookies!  Maybe instant coffee!

6. I am concerned that the Kardashian clan will so something of note and I will miss it.

7. I feel I will be disappointed if my uterus does not weigh 30 lbs and that my non-existent thigh gap will continue to be non-existent.  I just hoped that while down there, maybe they would tack on a free cosmetic procedure:  "Free liposuction with your fifth gynecological surgery!"

8. I will not be on Facebook for 12 hours and I will miss all the political drama.  Actually, that is a good thing!

Off I go!  I will keep you posted!  Log in again to follow this story and please share if you think others can relate!

Thanks!

PS. What if I forget to DVR Good Morning America so I can see the interview with 17 year old Malala in Nigeria?  I need that for home schooling in September!  

Getting My Hyster Ectomied

So when I started up this blog, I called it "A Woman's Pause" for two reasons.  I wanted to pause and look at all the experiences I have had in life and how they have shaped me as a woman, wife, and mother.  The other reason was that I believed I was going through "the change, " the cute little name for peri-menopause.  I was a bit off with the later.

This might get a bit detailed, so if you are a guy reading this, please skip down a bit.  If you are a guy, you may not want to read this at all.  I digress...

A bit over a year ago, I was starting, stopping, starting, stopping, and then going on and on for about a month.  Silly uterus!  It's just changing!  I stopped for three weeks.  Then "Aunt Flo, " my "Friend, " (more adorable, cute names), decided to move in permanently and cause anemia in addition to a lot of concern an worry.

The thing is, I've always had some issues.  And I'm a Mom of two young kids who have been home schooled for three years.  We do lots of things and I was dead last on the priority list.  I know that is familiar to lots of you.  Also, after being poked, prodded, operated on, and being put on hormones for many years as well as a short-lived pregnancy, I had had enough of doctors.  So I neglected my health, which was always supposed to be fairly closely monitored.  

I took three years off and was then in a panic.  I went to see the OB/GYN.  She is both thorough and conservative which I like.  I had to have a endometrial biopsy.  Painful to say the least.  And negative, thank goodness.  As I winced leaving the office, my nine year old son asked why I was uncomfortable.  I said that there is part of the body called the cervix and the doctor pinches off a piece to look at under a microscope.  But don't worry, it grows back.  "Like a sea star?" my sweet boy says.  "Yes, exactly. " I say.  Best laugh of the day.  I kind of pictured myself with a leg growing out of my "hoo-ha"( Oh, for heaven's sake, it's a VAGINA!).

Anyway, I got my blood tested immediately and had a mammogram.  Everything was fine.  But, this was not perimenopause.  My hormones are fine.  My uterus does not know what it's doing, essentially.  It's like it goes in a full cycle, without stopping, every four days or so.  It has been doing this for three months.  I so should have invested in Always Pads!  The good part is, that unless necessary, I get to keep my ovaries.  This prevents me from going into hormonal menopause.

I am both looking forward to this ending and also feel somewhat sad.  I think that for most woman who have this surgery, they have had their children.  I have been pregnant once and briefly, after I dealt with infertility and two adoptions.  My uterus has never served me well.  It has been a problem for almost thirty-five years.  Pain, mess, mood swings, frustration, disappointment.  But it also failed me in doing the one thing that it should have been able to do-carry a pregnancy.  

Don't get me wrong.  Adoption was the best thing we could have done.  But is is hard and somewhat sad.  This is the end of a very long and complicated story.  Normally, a woman of my age (47.5), would not be looking to get pregnant anyway. In many cases, they already have a family.  But it is the definitive end. No way.  No accidents. No change of life babies. No vessel to accomplish this.

But, although I think there will be a bit of a grieving process, I am ready to just feel better in general.  Anemia has been difficult.  I'm a bit tired at times because of it.  And bonus!  I get a urethra lift in the process!  Yippee!  That comes with it's own benefits!

So I will continue this story in the next couple of days!  Please stayed tuned!

Once Again, It's Been Awhile!

I know, I know!  I'm possibly the worst blogger ever!  So what has been happening this past year?  Well, lets see...

My 9 year old who NEVER gets sick, had two bouts of strep and ended up in the ER.  Twice.

My 83 year old Dad, falls down and breaks five ribs and ends up in the ER.

My 9 year old who ALMOST NEVER gets sick, has his first ear infection in about six years.  On a Sunday because that is the best time of the week to get sick.  No ER this time. Weekend pediatrics offices are great though.

My 77 year old Mom has heart palpitations and I helpfully diagnose it as a panic attack.  It was atrial fibrillation.  This is why I did not go to medical school.  She goes to the ER.  For 15 hours.  Luckily she finally gets a room. The second she can, she drives and is never heard from again.  Just joking. She came back eventually.

My 11 year old is diagnosed with OCD.  We are now helping her learn how to cope and telling her she can no longer take three hours to do her finger nails.  She is limited to only five tries to try to achieve the perfect pony tail.  We are trying to minimize the all out panic attacks she sometimes has because of it.

She leaves for two weeks of sleep-away camp tomorrow and is very nervous about how she will deal with this away from home.  So am I.

Oh, and I'm having a hysterectomy.  "Hyster" from the Latin for womb, "Ectomy" meaning take it out  and offer good pain killers afterward. 

 Also, no vacuuming or strenuous activity for several weeks.  Who am I kidding?  That's pretty much status quo.

By the way this is not the last year of my life.  This is just about the last three months with most of it hitting the big time about three weeks ago.  I realize I am both strong and simultaneously a nervous wreck.  I'm very worn out at this point and am looking forward to general anasthesia.

Please join me on my fabulous surgery journey! I promise it won't be a year this time!

My Guilty Pleasure

I must say, I have always been a fangirl since I was quite young.  Shaun Cassidy, Donny Osmond, and Davy Jones (who was adorable until the end) were my favorites back during what could now be described as my tween years.  And although I dreamed of one of them sweeping me off my feet and being my husband, I never really was one to write fan letters or scream at a concert.

As I got older, I realized that I could never possibly be a pop star's spouse, what with the groupies, parties, and constant travel.  It just didn't seem like a good lifestyle for me.  Of course, I also didn't know them so that seriously put a crimp in the whole "I love you, but I'm afraid I can't be with you because of your lifestyle" scenario. And I'm forever grateful that I never converted to Mormonism because I never did meet Jimmy Osmond.

But, I have always been a huge fan of pop culture and have always wanted to see more inside a well-known person's world. Its not that I want that world for myself, but I always thought it would be fun to just have a conversation with someone famous that I found interesting.  I guess I wanted to see if they are just ego driven or if they are folks just like anyone else.  

Enter Twitter.

Twitter is, without a doubt, my guilty pleasure. In just 140 characters,  I finally get to see if the people who I think might be interesting to know are interesting or just idiots. I follow a lot of news people, Dancing With the Stars pros, American Idol alum, other reality "stars," General Hospital actors past and present, and anyone else who I might find interesting.  You wouldn't believe how fun Alan Thicke and Chaz Bono can be!

I tend to follow people who think the same as I do on different issues simply because I don't want to be aggravated during what should be considered fun (so sorry Kirk Cameron).  I find that most people are just like anyone.  A lot are Moms and Dads and so far, no one is really too dippy.  For that reason, I don't follow Justin Beiber, Miley Cyrus, or anyone with the last name of Kardasian.  If I get annoyed by someone, I just unfollow.  

And the best part? You can tweet them and they TWEET BACK!  The dialogue I have always wanted is now possible!  I will sometimes comment on a performance the person has given, or an issue they support, or simply a Mom thing.  Quite recently, I have tweeted with Good Morning America's Sam Champion about Dancing with the Stars.  Some are even great about birthday wishes Sam and Josh Elliot wished my son a Happy Birthday.  I asked if they could and they obliged.

I have had "chats" with DWTS' Tony Dovolani and Lacey Schwimmer, GMA's Sam, Josh, Lara Spencer,Ron Claiborne, Dan Harris, Ginger Zee, and Elizabeth Vargas (George Stephanopoulos is my personal Holy Grail), American Idol Season 5 winner Taylor Hicks, Malibu Beach  and Queer Eye  alum Jai Rodriguez, N'SYNC's Lance Bass, Holly Robinson Peete, Real World San Francisco's Judd Winick, The Little Couple's Dr. Jennifer Arnold, writer Missy Buchanan, The Chew's Michael Symon and Carla Hall, peace activist Dr. Jennifer Stepanek (we've actually exchanged real letters over the last couple years),  and yes, even Kate Gosselin.  Sometimes its just a retweet; sometimes its a little conversation, but its always a hoot to get a response.

 I once went back and forth with Ginger Zee wondering if my son would perish during an outside activity in the extreme heat. She assured me he would be OK.  Carla Hall was pleased that "slapping my mint" to bring out the flavors had worked well for me.  Lacey replied that my favorite movie dance scene in a movie (the last big dance number with Cyd Cherrise in Singin' in the Rain) was hers as well. And Kate and I surmised that its important to do some math and reading during the summer so that knowledge is not lost. 

 I would love to get a response sometime from John Krasinski, Ingo Rademacher, and David Cook  I admire all of their talent and how they conduct themselves as people in the public eye.  I'm kidding!  I think they're pretty sexy!

I feel very much like those who collect autographs.  I collect mentions on Twitter. It's less time consuming and probably cheaper. I think at 46, I'm always going to be a fan of pop culture and all that surrounds it.  I'm just glad that I found a way to continue to have fun with it! 

'

Is Your Child's Medical Care Truly Up to You?-

This week, a faith healing couple who were on probation for not seeking medical care for their dying child, allowed their eight month old to suffer the same fate.  They have been arrested.  This is the NPR article: http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2013/04/23/178593383/religious-parents-lose-second-child-after-refusing-medical-care

Obviously, this disgusts me on so many levels.  First off, how do you not take a sick child, let alone infant, to the doctor?  Second, how are you not hyper-vigilant not only because the law caught up to you, but because you lost another child, possibly the worst trauma a parent can face?  Third, the God you  prayed to gave you a brain. Perhaps it should have been used.

But this whole case got me thinking of where a parent's right to treat their child medically as they see fit (for religious and other reasons) ends and the government's begins.  I'm not here to choose a side, because honestly, this issue has confounded me since I heard about a mother who got in legal trouble for refusing chemotherapy for her son who was dying from cancer.  By the way, he's fine.  I don't know if they believe it was the power of prayer, alternative care, or just good fortune, but he survived.  I kept thinking that it wasn't what I would have chosen, but doesn't she have the right to make that decision? I truly don't know.

I'm playing devil's advocate here with all of these scenarios.Should all these parents face legal actions?  

A parent decides on homeopathic treatment for their child.  In many cases it works, but in this case it doesn't and for whatever reason, the child dies.  The child has been treated, but those in authority may believe that this isn't "real" medicine and is instead neglect.

True story. Many years ago, a mother brought her young child to the hospital with an very high fever.  Meningitis was suspected but she would not allow the spinal tap. They in turn would not give her medication. She waits it out at home until he is better.  The child is now a grown man.  Negligence?  On Mom or the hospital's part or both?  What if he had died?

Many families choose not to vaccinate.  There is no imminent danger, but what about in a flu outbreak? I respect that people do not want to vaccinate, but does the government have the right to insist on it?  Could they decided that a very sick child was neglected? 

Many c-sections are avoidable, but doctors will tell a scared mother that it is necessary for whatever reason. If there is a complication, can that doctor say that the mother was negligent? 

I truly don't see that legal action would be taken in any of these cases, but you just don't know.  In some Southern states, I would have been charged with manslaughter for having a D and C to resolve a miscarriage.  I don't think those laws actually passed, but it is scary to think that it could be a possibility.

I don't know what the answer truly is. I'm all for if you are harming a child in anyway, you have no right to it.  And I mean in a serious, life-threatening way.  But who is to determine what that line actually is?

Feel free to contact me by a comment here or through however you found me (Twitter, Facebook, etc.)

This Blog is ICONIC!

Of course I'm kidding.  Its only been around for two months.  But nowadays, it seems like everything is termed "iconic." From fashion to characters on TV and in movies and to photos, everything is put into this category. Now, this is just my pet peeve du jour, but I am so tired of everyone using this word to describe what actually should be described in some other, less grandiose way.

Icon: (from www.thefreedictionary.com ) 
1. a picture, image, or other representation.
2. an image of Christ, a saint, etc., usu. painted on a wooden panel or done in mosaics and venerated as sacred in the Eastern Church.
3. a sign or representation that stands for something by virtue of a resemblance or analogy to it; symbol: an icon of womanhood.
4. a person or thing that is revered or idolized: a pop icon.
5. a small graphic image on a computer screen representing a disk drive, a file, or a software command, as a wastebasket that can be used to delete a file.

Now, please tell me which of these definitions best fit "Style Icon" Emma Stone?  I mean, true she has been walking the red carpet since, what. 2010? That should qualify her for...umm... number 4?  

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but not everything is iconic.  Memorable maybe?  Eventually, standing next to everything known to humankind? Perhaps.  But today's well- dressed young actress of the moment, is not a style anything, except well-dressed. And smart enough to hire a good stylist.

I just have this issue with things that are current as being icons.  Shouldn't you have more than a few years under your belt?  Shouldn't a look or an image or a character stand the test of time before such a label is given?  As much as I love Jim Parson's Dr. Sheldon Cooper on The Big Bang Theory, I can't say that the character will always be some standard bearer for idolization or a representative of some virtue.  And yes, I have already heard this character being called iconic.

And truly, Miss Kim Richards, yes you were in Nanny and the Professor and a handful of movies  and TV shows back when you were a kid, but please don't consider yourself an icon.  Yes, I've heard her say people consider her such.  

I think an icon needs to stand the test of time.  I think Michelle Obama has great taste in clothes and its great that she doesn't break the bank when selecting outfits.  But five or six years in is not a long time to be considered a fashion icon.  Now Jackie Kennedy is a different story.  She stood out and changed the way women dressed and many still want the same look 50 years later. There was an exhibition of her clothes at the Metropolitan Museum of Art several years ago. That to me is iconic style.

Recently, I realized that people also attach this word to images from news events.  Are we truly already attaching the word "iconic" to photos from this week's Boston Marathon Bombings? I can see in time how there will be images that truly represent that moment in time.  The kind of image you look at and say, "I remember where I was at that moment." But can't we just experience our emotions without every media outlet telling us that "This is the picture you will always remember."  

I think of the image of naked girl running through the street of Vietnam, burning from napalm as an iconic symbol of the Vietnam War.  An image that tells you specifically of a day or place or event that will forever be remembered for the pain and damage it did to so many.

Barney Stintson (Neil Patrick Harris of How I Met Your Mother) pretty much mocks the idea that everything is something huge and important to the big picture every time he says, "This is going to be LEGEN-wait for it -DARY!" This character totally believes that everything is, in fact, legendary.  The truth is that is seems like a lot of people think that everything is also iconic.

So, I'm going to keep writing my blog and you keep reading it.  And if something strikes you as something that should be "revered or idolized," feel free to pass it on and refer to it as ICONIC.


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Things I Have Forgotten

It's not that my mind is going, but as a parent of a ten year old girl and eight year old boy, I realize there are things that I have forgotten.

What's it like to go to the bathroom/shower without interruption?  Either someone just comes in (four legged creatures as well) or there is a colossal bang or a scream while I am otherwise occupied.  I honestly can shower by myself.  It is not a peep show, kids!

What is sleep?  I once heard Gwyneth Paltrow say she sleeps with one ear open.  I totally got that.  I have the amazing ability to become conscious in the wee hours of the morning just as someone is crying, having a bad dream, getting sick, or talking in their sleep. Even if everyone is asleep, the next days events begin rolling around in my head.  Or worse, some terrible pop song keeps rolling in my head.  I like Call Me Maybe as much as the next person, but not at 3AM in and endless loop.

 What is it like to sleep late? And by late I mean 6:45 AM.  My eight year old has this great morning greeting- open the bedroom door, wave and smile, and then knock on the inside of the door and ask if he can come in.  I love to see his precious fact, but he really needs to work on sequencing events.  Recently, the dog has decided that he needs to remind us he exists by scratching at the door sometime during the 6 AM hour.  You would think that by now he would have figured out that we are ignoring him.  Apparently you can't teach a young dog new tricks either.

 What is a "Live Action" movie? My most recent trips to the movie theater include Wreck-It Ralph, The Lorax, and Welcome to Planet Earth.  Every movie we buy is animated.  We see no movie that is R rated.  I have no clue as to the acting ability of Ryan Gosslin, or Channing Tatum.  I have a vague idea about what Magic Mike is and I'm betting it is not an animated musical about magicians staring the voice talents for someone from Saturday Night Live.

Speaking of which,  What is it like to watch Saturday Night Live, live?  Sure I see clips on Hulu or the NBC website, but its not the same.  A late night for me is 9:30.  I would just like to know what folks are talking about before it hits all the chat shows on Monday morning. 

You mean there are books for adults? OK, I do know this, but I can't recall the last one I read.  I can tell you the myriad of children's fiction and non-fiction I have read, but not an adult book that wasn't a how-to.  And that was probably along the lines of how to keep your children from simultaneously having meltdowns in the public library (yeah, that happened...recently).

I wish I knew what it was like to have a vacation with my spouse.  We will be married 20 years in October.  Since we have had the kids, we have had probably less than ten nights alone in all that time.  I vaguely remember that we used to go for weekend trips on the spur of the moment-great bed and breakfasts, an anniversary trip every year, week long summer trips, road trips.  Now, all our overnights (less those ten) are with the kids.  Not that I don't love family vacations, but really, I think we deserve more than 24 hours alone.  

I mean really, I just want to pee by myself.  Is that too much to ask?  Apparently, yes.

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