Growing Old Gracefully..or Not

“I don’t want to look like a 25-year-old anymore,” [the 41 year old Brooke] Burke-Charvet tells Health magazine.  “I want to be my best, healthy self.”

Yeah.... Umm, I don't know about that.  Several years ago, I had this same attitude.  I think I only had one child then and nothing had headed South yet (bless my dear husband who thought that if pregnancy had not taken place, they would stay in place). I could still use temporary hair color.  I had no aches and I could sleep through the night simply because I had no pain.  My forehead was smooth and I  still worried about the occasional unsightly pimple. And best of all, I was still eating pretty much what I wanted.  Sure, the scale would slowly creep up and I'd be concerned but, I was still pretty much at a healthy weight.

Now, after two kids, one of which is particularly "active" and "challenging", shall we say,all of the above is no longer true.  

I really started to feel the aging thing during the last couple of years.  Muscles I once used easily started chronically aching.  I had to make a switch to permanent hair color because the six-week stuff just wasn't covering the gray anymore.  Of course, there was more gray to cover, so that shouldn't have been surprising.  I slept so poorly that I had to nap in the afternoons before the kids came home from school.  The Office was on at 9 PM and there was no way I could even stay up for it.  My arms ached so much (and still do) from holding kids and having them pull at me, lugging grocery bags for our growing family, and carrying a ridiculously heavy pocketbook.  You know the kind: no money, but socks, sunglasses, cell phone, bottled water, and snacks that will never be eaten but you need them "just in case."

Then the worst happened.  I now agree with Billy Crystal's Fernando who said famously "It is better to look good than to feel good."   I reached a weight that was more than I ever thought possible.  Didn't only overweight people hit 200 plus pounds?  Oh, I am that person.  I looked terrible.  Clothes looked terrible.  And of course I felt terrible. I never could shake off that post adoption weight,  

So, I decided aging gracefully was not for me.  I started taking Melatonin  and ended up sleeping again.  I had been having migraines and they stopped because I actually slept.  Now, I only need it  occasionally.     

I am working with a nutritionist, Danielle, from South Bay Wellness and am eating healthier.  Our family is considering a more vegetarian lifestyle now.  We are really loving all our veggies! 

I just learned about and started Reiki with Shannon at The Suah Center I have felt calm and less stressed all week.  My positive energy is flowing!

I love my permanent hair color even though my attempts at a more youthful appearance left my hair much darker than expected.  Think Morticia with some golden highlights, But not a hint of gray, thank you very much!.

My forehead is wrinkly and the girls are swinging but, unlike the song Do Your Ears Hang Low?   I can NOT throw them over my shoulder like a Continental solider. If I had the money, maybe one of those "Mommy Make-Over" things would be in order.  Little pull here, a little sandblasting there.

And of course, the Change is upon me so I feel that I may be in for even more fun.  As my eight year old  said, when overhearing us discuss the possible symptoms I've been having said, "Now you'll be wrinkly and DIE soon!"  Don't worry little man, menopause doesn't mean your dead.  It simply means I'll be more sweaty.  And will want to drive with the windows down in February. And reference such episodes as my "personal summers."

So hooray for the positive attitude of the bikini clad, four times pregnant Brook Burke-Charvet!  I'm glad she has such an outlook, especially since she is recovering from thyroid cancer.  I, on the other hand, DO want to look twenty-five again.  I was 65 pounds lighter.  I was smooth and perky.  The only thing I lacked was knowledge.  And I guess for that reason, I'll grow old gracefully because I would rather have the knowledge and experiences I've gained, than the body I lost....

...or not.

Changes, Changes...

So when last I blogged, I was working as a substitute teacher in my children's district, my kids were in kindergarten and first grade, I had thoughts that at some point I would be hired to teach full-time in said district, I was planning a fabulous trip to Disney World, I still had my gall bladder, I was still infertile, I was having debilitating "I'm not leaving the house anxiety,"  and my house was a mess.

Well changes happen.

 I stopped subbing because apparently my six years of teaching second grade did not qualify me to teach second grade during a six-week maternity leave (they gave it to someone who had never had his own classroom). I pulled my kids out of the district because, although I loved their teachers, the administration and their policies stunk.  We became a homeschooling family (more on that later).  My daughter is now 10 and in fourth grade.  My son is 8 and is "revisiting"  the second grade.  My trip to Disney was fabulous although three weeks prior, I had my gall bladder removed.  Two months prior to that, I had a miscarriage after a very unexpected and short lived pregnancy. I'm on some medication now, which reduced my anxiety and probably is the reason I was relaxed enough to conceive. My house is messier than ever.  Oh, and I think I am starting menopause, hence the name of this blog.

Because it really has nothing to do with men, although I think my husband is looking to convert the garage into some kind of living space in case things get crazy.  I like to think of "The Change" as just an actual pause in the action of your life. "We interrupt this menstrual cycle so that you can experience your days in a whole new way! Slow metabolism, night sweats, and hot flashes!"  Of course, you can save on your Advil bill.  And you can actually plan trips anytime of the year without consulting your monthly calendar. So there are some good points too.

This is not to say your whole life should pause and you should roll up in the fetal position until it is over.  It just truly is a transition.  One that may or may not be pleasant. I'm looking at it as a time to pause and reflect, and look ahead.  I shall see!  

So, what have you been up to?

From the Fabulous, Gall Bladder free Disney trip! Photo credit: hubby Chris Judd